Living With Someone With Disabilities

Hello my avid readers; all two of you. If you hadn't already noticed, I haven't posted to my recently started blog in a while. Well, that is due to the move. My girlfriend and I made the hard decision recently to move in together. It is a hard decision because everything with us is hard. A lot has changed for me since we made this decision, and I thought it was worth a post.

First off, let me say that moving in together is big no matter what. You have to downsize, rearrange, communicate. You won't be able to go out whenever you want because you have someone waiting up for you. You have someone to answer to, even if it isn't a controlling relationship. When you live with someone, especially someone you're romantically involved with, it's typical to feel the need to share everything, and you should! Unless it's your toothbrush. Gross.

What was my point again? Oh, yes. I think what I'm trying to say is that living together has even more challenges than the average couple. Each day I wake up and I must decide not only what I am going to wear, but what she is going to wear. Half the time, dressing myself is hard enough. Let's just say I'm a wreck when it comes to being an adult, or a girl, or even just a human being.

Anyway, once she's dressed, and cleaned if needed, I'll fix her hair, wash it if it's dirty, and make us something to eat. After that, the day is ours. I mean, once the dishes are done, and the laundry has been put away, and the liter box has been cleaned out, and the dogs have been walked and....well you get the idea. We have so much time together, and yet, so little time together. 

Before you think for a second I'm having second thoughts, I'm not. I met her after her accident. I knew what I was getting into, and I love her wheels and all. All I'm saying is that it's really tough to get pants over someone else's butt when they can't do the wiggle thing. Ladies, you know what I mean.

My biggest point is that living with someone with disabilities is hard. You can't share the chores. You can't expect a home cooked meal when you come home from work. You do everything for yourself, and then do everything for them, and you cannot get angry, you cannot be impatient. You have to stay calm. Because it's a felony to choke a quadriplegic. Technically it's a felony to choke anyone, so I guess that doesn't just apply to me.

Now that I've made anyone and everyone who's considering moving in with their significant other, or friend, with disabilities scared for their life, let's get on to the good stuff!

First off, she can't leave me. Woot! While that's true, it makes it convenient when we fight. She cannot just storm off and leave me hanging. She has to sit and stick it out just like me. Second, she's always there when I come home. Sometimes that's not the best thing. I'm sort of an asshole, so sometimes coming home is a matter of life and death. Or maybe just a matter of whether or not I'll have my shins in the morning. Regardless, it's nice to know that you won't ever come home to an empty bed. She's always there. Third, she makes me feel wanted and needed. She depends on me in a way that most people don't have to. There is never a day that I don't have purpose. Taking care of her is my purpose, and that may not seem like much, but it's her world.

We aren't normal for more reasons that I could explain in this text post. But we aren't so abnormal either. We still fight, we still disagree, we still build one another up, and we still love each other more than anything else. Living together changes things for every couple, but a couple with disabilities faces challenges that the average person could never understand. Don't fret, though. You can do this.

Xoxo
Ellie J

Why Parents Need to Stop Using the Bible Against Their Homosexual Children

I thought long and hard before I began writing this post. There's probably a thousand controversial things that could be said about the title alone, and I'm sure some smart ass out there will have something to comment before they even finish reading. So, before I get to my main point, let me first address the argument before it begins.

I am not against Christianity, or any other religion for that matter. My goal here is not to belittle or degrade what someone else believes in. I am not someone who sets out to convert people away from God, and I certainly do not want to disprove the Bible.

So that being said, lets get to it.

The reason I am writing this post is because this issue affects me personally. My girlfriend is not accepted for who she is in her home. She is constantly reminded of the poor choices she is making, and the risk of her eternal life. She has no support from those who are supposed to love her most in a world that already treats her like a foreigner for the injuries she obtained at no fault of her own.

First, let me state this as plainly as I can, no one is perfect. Quoting directly from the Bible itself, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone does one thing or another that perhaps God would not approve of. Yet, we rarely tell an expecting sixteen year old that she is going to hell.

Second, for all those who state that homosexuality is a repeated sin, and we must repent, I'm here to set the record straight. It is impossible to follow everything in the Bible, and therefor, everyone sins on a daily basis. Care for me to explain? Well, good because I was already going to. 

• The divorce rate today is higher than my paycheck at my day job, yet the bible is ridden with verses that speak of God's sheer hatred for it. And when I think of all the people I know who tell me I'm going to hell, more than half of them are on their second, perhaps third marriage. For reference, I've included just a few of the verses on God's view of divorce (Malachi 2:13-16, Matthew 19:3-6, Matthew 19:7-9, Matthew 5:32-34) 
• The Bible is full of so many things that we cannot legally follow today such as slavery, stoning our daughters for having sex before marriage, selling our daughters into marriage, having multiple wives...you feel me? 
• There are tons of rules that we don't currently follow in today's society. For instance, who turns down a trip to Red Lobster unless they have a shellfish allergy or are inhuman enough to hate seafood? Yet, take a look at Leviticus 11:12, which states: "These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that has not fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is detestable to you. You shall regard them as detestable; you shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall detest their carcasses. Everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is detestable to you." Basically, shrimp and crab are a nogo in God's rule book. 
• Women are also not allowed to do much of anything unless it involves cooking, cleaning, pooping babies, and bowing down to their husbands. 1 Timothy 2:12 states "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but be in silence." 1 Corinthians 14:34 states "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak." So, zip the lip, ladies, and remember, you can't be the CEO like you've always dreamed, and Presidency? Forget about it! But wait! It still gets better! According to Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which partaineth unto a man, neither shall a ma put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." In retrospect, I feel as if all Transgenders just slipped right onto Satan's nice list with one verse, but in all honesty, apart from a few cultures, what modern women don't slip on a pant suit every now and then?

I could honestly go on, but I feel as though my point is made. Clearly, I'm full speed on the hellfire choo choo, waving my rainbow flag with a smile on my face but when we look back at some of these verses, we have to see that according to these type of rules, so are 90% of the Christian population. My point isn't to say that no one should worship God. My point isn't to make someone change their belief. 

My point is simply to say that, as a Christian, you pick and choose. Everyday, you choose which verses to follow, and which ones to ignore because clearly in today's society, you cannot follow them all. So my question to all of those parents who say to their children, "I cannot support your lifestyle because God say's its wrong," How can you choose not to follow verses such as divorce, and shellfish, which seemingly hurt no one, but you choose to follow the one verse that hurts your child; the one verse that forces your own flesh and blood from your heart?

The Introduction

Hi, I'm Ellie.

I recently decided to start this blog, and once I finally got to it, I realized I wasn't really quite sure what to write about. It wasn't until I thought about it that I found my answer. How can I write about any topic without first explaining why I'm qualified to do so? How can I give advice without first showing I know what I'm talking about?

Well, here it is:

First off, I'm twenty years old, and I just recently released my first novel, The Travelers. I decided I wanted to write at the age of ten, and I've been hashing out crappy manuscripts ever since. I suppose this was the very first that I truly thought was worth sharing; or perhaps it was just the first I wasn't completely embarrassed to let someone read. Whatever it was, everyone who's read it so far is eager for the sequel, which boosts my self esteem.

That leads me to another need to know thing about me. I'm also a recovering anorexic. I spent five years of my life having people tear me down about my weight. After a while, I couldn't see myself as beautiful anymore. I saw myself several sizes larger than I was. The numbers on the scale were never small enough, and the amount of calories I consumed a day was never low enough. It took years before I could see the good things about me; the things that even I loved about myself. Its still a struggle, though. I still get those urges to skip a meal or run an extra mile. I still wonder if I lost a few pounds, would I still be married right now?

Oh look, another topic! I'm on the downhill side of my divorce. Yes, you heard me right, twenty and divorced. I married too young, to the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, in the wrong way. We were only married six months before we separated. She had cheated on me, and I left in the middle of the night after packing as much as I could fit into my car. At the time, I wondered why I wasn't good enough. If I lost weight, would she love me again? What did I do wrong? Turns out, I'm not the one in the wrong; I'm not the crazy one. Okay, that's not true. 

I suffer from PTSD and Anxiety. The PTSD is a result of childhood abuse and the anxiety comes from the self isolation from the PTSD. Together, the two have helped me develop yet another disorder called Dissociative Amnesia. This basically means that at any point, if I get too stressed or upset, I can forget things. The first time it happened, I forgot four years of my life. Its slowly been coming back since I've lowered my stress level and cut out the wrong people from my life, but I still live in fear that it could happen again. 

I'm also a BIG lesbian. That's right, throwing around the 'L' word. Good show, by the way. I currently have a girlfriend. Her name is Kara, but I don't think she'll be my girlfriend for too long. Nothing ever lasts right? I'm hoping one day she'll be my wife, but this time, I'm gonna do it right. No more of this divorce business. 

Kara's special too. She had an accident that broke her neck, and now she's in a wheelchair. She cannot feed herself, bathe herself, dress herself, or even get herself out of bed. Someone else has to do everything for her, all because of a distracted driver. I don't mind though. Taking care of her gives me purpose. Not to mention, with all my issues, it takes someone truly broken to be able to take care of me. Besides, I don't think she'll be in that chair forever, not if I have something to do with it. Determination is half the battle, and motivation is the other half. 

I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe I'll think of it another day and blog about it, so that's all for now. Thank you for reading, and I hope to get to know you better too. 

xoxo, 

Ellie,