Living With Someone With Disabilities

Hello my avid readers; all two of you. If you hadn't already noticed, I haven't posted to my recently started blog in a while. Well, that is due to the move. My girlfriend and I made the hard decision recently to move in together. It is a hard decision because everything with us is hard. A lot has changed for me since we made this decision, and I thought it was worth a post.

First off, let me say that moving in together is big no matter what. You have to downsize, rearrange, communicate. You won't be able to go out whenever you want because you have someone waiting up for you. You have someone to answer to, even if it isn't a controlling relationship. When you live with someone, especially someone you're romantically involved with, it's typical to feel the need to share everything, and you should! Unless it's your toothbrush. Gross.

What was my point again? Oh, yes. I think what I'm trying to say is that living together has even more challenges than the average couple. Each day I wake up and I must decide not only what I am going to wear, but what she is going to wear. Half the time, dressing myself is hard enough. Let's just say I'm a wreck when it comes to being an adult, or a girl, or even just a human being.

Anyway, once she's dressed, and cleaned if needed, I'll fix her hair, wash it if it's dirty, and make us something to eat. After that, the day is ours. I mean, once the dishes are done, and the laundry has been put away, and the liter box has been cleaned out, and the dogs have been walked and....well you get the idea. We have so much time together, and yet, so little time together. 

Before you think for a second I'm having second thoughts, I'm not. I met her after her accident. I knew what I was getting into, and I love her wheels and all. All I'm saying is that it's really tough to get pants over someone else's butt when they can't do the wiggle thing. Ladies, you know what I mean.

My biggest point is that living with someone with disabilities is hard. You can't share the chores. You can't expect a home cooked meal when you come home from work. You do everything for yourself, and then do everything for them, and you cannot get angry, you cannot be impatient. You have to stay calm. Because it's a felony to choke a quadriplegic. Technically it's a felony to choke anyone, so I guess that doesn't just apply to me.

Now that I've made anyone and everyone who's considering moving in with their significant other, or friend, with disabilities scared for their life, let's get on to the good stuff!

First off, she can't leave me. Woot! While that's true, it makes it convenient when we fight. She cannot just storm off and leave me hanging. She has to sit and stick it out just like me. Second, she's always there when I come home. Sometimes that's not the best thing. I'm sort of an asshole, so sometimes coming home is a matter of life and death. Or maybe just a matter of whether or not I'll have my shins in the morning. Regardless, it's nice to know that you won't ever come home to an empty bed. She's always there. Third, she makes me feel wanted and needed. She depends on me in a way that most people don't have to. There is never a day that I don't have purpose. Taking care of her is my purpose, and that may not seem like much, but it's her world.

We aren't normal for more reasons that I could explain in this text post. But we aren't so abnormal either. We still fight, we still disagree, we still build one another up, and we still love each other more than anything else. Living together changes things for every couple, but a couple with disabilities faces challenges that the average person could never understand. Don't fret, though. You can do this.

Xoxo
Ellie J